The most common emotion shared by women, despite background, economic, or education levels is fear. Not just the fear of physical danger, although that is certainly something women understand on a conscious level practically on a daily basis. There is also a deep subconscious level of fear that becomes so debilitating that it rules every decision we make every single day and keeps us from living our best life.
How many times have we watched others undeservedly promoted ahead of us and we remained too afraid to speak up. We don’t ask for the pay raises that rightfully belong to us because we are afraid that our bosses will think we are too assertive, or too demanding so we remain silent. Content to take only that which is given, not that which is earned.
We take this feeling of fear into our homes. Will our husbands find us unattractive as nature takes its inevitable toll on our bodies? Will we end up alone and in poverty because younger, prettier women have perkier breasts and less stretch marks? Almost unavoidably we find ourselves giving license to our husbands to degrade and demean our looks, our character, and our dignity. Ever so slightly at first, but steadily gaining momentum as the years go by until we don’t even recognize ourselves. We abdicate our responsibility to effectively parent our children lest they decide they don’t like us. Our whole society is turning out generations who have never learned to treat others with respect because we too afraid to expect our children to respect us. And why should they since we aren’t respecting ourselves.
Sadly, no where is our fear more evident than in our relationships with other women. We judge each other on such insignificant measures as what shoes, purses, or clothing we wear. We fret for hours over the appropriate outfit to wear to lunch with our friends for fear they may find us too bitchy, too slutty, or too flashy. We hesitate to speak directly to a friend over a perceived slight, preferring to complain about it to others instead.
The only way to break this state of constant fear is to find the true value we possess. If we cannot find within ourselves what makes us more valuable than what we wear, then we must develop those traits for which we can be deeply proud. Only then will we find the strength to control our own destiny. Life is about choices, and this is the strongest determiner between success and failure.
It’s up to you.
